Letter to an Enemy

Dear Ms. Flab,

     I am writing to let you know that your services are no longer required. Your position here came about only through a series of circumstances that certainly could have been prevented. However, since the door was opened, and you felt welcomed, you have had a decently long run in your position. You may, however, made the mistaken assumption that you are welcome here, and that you and I have become good friends - bosom buddies of sorts. But I am here to tell you that you were never welcome, and you and I were never friends.

     I am also writing to you to mention that I am doing what I can to make sure that your days here are numbered. It is clear that you cling to me with every bit of strength that you have. Let me tell you that though I may waiver from time to time, my resolve is strong, and I will celebrate and do a little jig once I am rid of you. To put it bluntly, I detest you. You have limited the choices that I have made, you have made me feel 'less than', you have led me to believe that I didn't deserve the good things in life, you have prevented me from looking nice in clothes, and your scheming ways were slowly leading me to a life that was unhealthy. In fact, you may have even made me ill and taken years off my life, if I hadn't decided to take measures to remove you. You are an uninvited guest in my life, and I want you gone.

     If you take issue with this, tough shit. Go tell it to HR - you will find that they, as well as all my family and friends support me, and they will quickly show you the door. Ms. Flabby, let me say this so that we are absolutely clear: Get the hell out of my life.

Good riddance,
Kimberly