Ups and Downs, and Apologies

Hello everyone!

Let me begin this post with an apology. I've been bad at keeping up on all of your blogs, and just got caught up today. I'm also apologizing because I haven't posted in a while. I've been bad, haven't been eating well, and haven't lost much. Sooooo - not much to post about. However, I realized that, when catching up on all your posts, a couple of you have done the same thing recently (pigging out, not blogging, or both). Ugh - like you, just haven't felt up to it. I have been bad, bad, bad. Work has been out of control, and my lil babe has been sick. Ugh.

So why post now? Well - 1) because I felt self-imposed pressure to 2) because I need to have my blog peeps hold me accountable and finally 3) because I have some NSVs to share! So let's get down to it. Yep, I've made some BAD food decisions for the last week. Not 24/7, not daily, but it was continuing. So, I'm over it. Done. Fin. Kaput. Stopping here. BECAUSE - (drum roll please) I had to go shopping yesterday because my clothes are too damn big! The last size I was wearing was a 22. My dress paints were just too damn big to wear to work anymore. Jeans too! So I went to Macy's yesterday, because I simply can't stand Lane Bryant hoochie or moo-moo wear anymore. So - I pulled a couple 20s off the racks. Went to the dressing room, and began trying things on. NICE!! I'm trying on 20s and they fit great - and I notice that I may want to consider how they will fit 1-2 months from now. I noticed that there were some other clothes hanging in the room, so I checked them out. I found a pair of Tommy Hilfigger jeans - size 18. A coincidence??? I think not!! (louder drum roll, please) So I tried them on - and they fit!! Yes - a bit of a muffin top was involved - but I zipped them and fastened them without much effort! Did I get them?? Hellll Yeahhhh!!! While I still had them on, I had to call my DH and then my mom to gloat. They both were so happy for me!! I haven't been a size 18 for probably 8 years!  I think it is interesting that I did so badly this week with food choices, and the scale has barely moved for the last month - but my weight is shifting around - and my body is changing! How exciting.

I also got my fourth fill yesterday. I now have 8.5 ccs in a 10cc band. The doc had me do a floroscopy, because i mentioned that I was barely getting any restriction. I mentioned that I now had as much in my band as my DH had. DH feels that he will probably stay at 8.5 for a while. But the doc mentioned that I will probably go to 9 or even 9.5 ccs, because women are smaller inside, and thus need more fluid to equal the same feeling of fullness. That means I am probably going to have to wait another 6 weeks or so until I have my sweet spot. bummer. Have I felt much restriction since yesterday? Barely at all. A bit more - but not much. Any other similar experiences?

So guys I apologize to you for not commenting on some of the wonderful posts you have had on your blogs in the last week. I haven't been as supportive as I usually like to be - I was just a bit down in the dumps. So I want to say congrats to Amy and Lynne for making some wonderful strides lately in terms of lower sizes. I want to say congrats to others who are near their goal  - and to give words of encouragement too - you are almost there! Also - kudos to all of you that have recently had BIG NSVs lately!! And for those of us who are dealing with see-sawing on and off the wagon - its not so much that you fall off, but that you keep getting back on.

Yours truly,

Kimberly (aka the complacent blogger)