SAAAAH-WEET!!

Yeppers - I am down 46 lbs now. Just 1 1/2 above the lowest I got to in March before my brain decided to abandon ship with my tastebuds and betray my body and my band for a few months, resulting in an 8lb gain. But I'm in that full-swing motivation mode - you know what I am talking about - where all cylinders seem to be clicking and nearly every thought and every conscious thing you do is reminding you that you want to reach your goal, that you need to be 'present and aware' about what and how much you are eating. I'm in that 'other' sweet spot, and I'm going to hold on to it as long as I can! Its funny how even a couple lbs can make you feel thinnner - or, in reverse, how you feel much thinner even after just a couple pounds! I would swear that my clothes fit different already.

Speaking of sweet spots, though, I believe that I have FINALLY achieved a true sweet spot with my fill. I am filled to 10 1/2 ccs in a 11cc Realize band. Yes, I know that that is so full in relation to some of you who have their sweet spot with only half your band full. I asked about this, and my doc's peeps told me that even with an 11cc band, it is not uncommon to have more fluid in it than that. Huh??? Who knows, I'm not going to try to figure that one out. Regardless, I'm finally at a place, truly more than a week or two, where my band is telling me - THAT IS ENOUGH! STEP AWAY FROM THE FOOD OR I WILL SEND IT BACK OUT YOUR PIE WHOLE WOMAN!! And after having several, more than several PB sessions, I now stop and don't want to do it again. Before, I was ignoring the signs, and would just wait a bit until the feeling subsided, and then would eat again. I wanted to clean that plate, damnit!! Even if it were a small portion of food.

But now - I'm trying to be 'present and aware' even more than before, and actually trying to LISTEN TO AND FEEL WHAT MY BAND IS TRYING TO SAY TO ME!! Sorry for the caps again, but I'm still trying to digest this info (get it?? har har). As I was telling someone in their blog post - I think this journey is more about self discovery, and becoming more self aware, and learning about our own psychological issues/hang ups/ distortions/whatever, and deal with what led us down this place originally, rather than this being just a weight loss journey. So, dealing with the head stuff a bit more in the last few weeks, and actually not rebelling against my band has helped me come to terms with it and the surgery - allowing me to allow it to work for me. I think dealing with some of this crap has finally allowed me to start to see the scales move in a downward direction again, and I'm hoping it continues. I'm only half way to my goal, after all. And though I feel and look so much better than I did a year ago, I don't want to stop here! It's so easy just to rest on the work that I've already accomplished, and forget about the road that still lies ahead.

I would love to reach that goal around Xmas time - and reward myself with a huge new wardrobe!! I'll have to start saving now, though!

Cheers ladies, hoping your week is starting off well!